Class 6 – Forgotten Sunan of Family

Class 6
Forgotten Sunan of Family

FORGOTTEN SUNAN WITH SPOUSE

Reciting the Dua before Intercourse

The Messenger ﷺ said: “When one of you wants to approach his wife, if he says (the below) If it is then decreed that they have a child (from that intercourse), Satan will never harm it. ”

“Bismillah, Allahumma jannib nash-Shaytan, wa jannib ish-Shaytana ma razaqtana

With the Name of Allah, O Allah, keep Satan away from us, & keep him away from what You grant us

Being Gentle and beautifying oneself for the Spouse 

Jabir said, “So when we were about to enter the city, the Prophet ﷺ said to me, ‘Slow down, & enter at night, so that she who has not combed may comb her hair, and she who has not shaved may shave her private area.’ Then he said to me, ‘When you enter upon her, then be wise and gentle.’” [Agreed upon]. 

Benefits:

• The Prophet ﷺ did not want Jabir to surprise his wife. At a time when there were no cell phones or other means of informing the family when a traveler would return, the Prophet ﷺ would send a crier into the city, announcing that the caravan was returning. Hence, he told Jabir to wait for this crier before proceeding into the city.
• We learn that spouses should physically beautify themselves for one another. Combing the hair is but one way to beautify; anything that increases the beauty and handsomeness of one spouse in front of the other is something to be encouraged. The Prophet ﷺ told the impatient Jabir that it was better for him to delay his arrival in order that his wife prepare herself for him.
• The explicit command to shave the pubes is an amazing phrase! We all know that a part of our Islamic tradition is that one must shave one’s pubes; in this hadith, this command is put in the context of the sexual act. In other words, the husband is told to be patient so that his wife may beautify her private area in order to increase the aesthetic pleasure and gratification of sex. A husband and wife should make sure that even around their private areas, they look attractive to each other!
• Again and again, we see the frankness of the prophetic traditions, and the encouragement to enjoy intimacy in marriage. Contrast this to the ultra-conservative attitudes predominant in many Muslim cultures. It is as if some Muslims wish to be ‘more strict’ than the Prophet ﷺ himself!

Doing Wudoo if one intends to do it again.

“If one of you approaches his wife, and then wishes to repeat, let him do wudhu, for it will make the recurrence more energetic” [Abu Dawud].

• In all of these hadiths, we see once again the clear encouragement to engage in passionate and fulfilling intimate relations with one’s spouse.

• Even the blessed Prophet ﷺ found comfort in his wives, but the comfort that prayer and turning to Allah gave him was obviously the most sweet and pure.

• In another hadith, the Companion is told that a woman of his age would be better because her passion would be more. Better kissing is explicitly mentioned, and more passionate sex is hinted at.

• A righteous wife (and, by analogy, a good husband) is the best enjoyment of this world. Pure, halal, encouraged enjoyment.

• The frank advice given in the last tradition makes it crystal clear that we should aim to have passionate sex lives. No less a figure than our beloved Prophet informed us of ways to increase that passion. Washing oneself after a first act invigorates the body and rejuvenates the soul, and thus helps in repeating the act again.

General Act of passion from the Sunnah

A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) says: “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ would kiss me before leaving for prayers, and he would not perform an ablution.” (Sunan al-Darqutni, 1/49 and others)

Leaning & Sleeping in their Laps  

‘A’isha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: the Prophet ﷺ used to lean on my lap while I am menstruating and read Quran. (Al-Bukhari)

Saying words of Love 

Amr ibn al-‘As (ra) asked the Prophet ﷺ, “Who do you love the most?” Thinking that he would be named, Prophet Muhammad replied in unusual honesty “`Aisha!” Any modern man who dared mention his feelings for his wife would feel like a pansy.

Spending Quality time

Aisha (R.A.) said, “….After finishing the Prayer (night Prayer) he used to look at me and if I was awake he would talk to me and if I was asleep, he would lie down.(Bukhari)

PARENTS

With parents its almost Fard and the things being seen nowadays it’s the basic rules being broken like being disrespectful to parents, shouting at them etc.

Being the best with Parents

Now we see that most men are best with either their friends  or with their wives but  ﷺ said our Parents, deserves our best!

Once a companion (may Allah be pleased with him) asked the Prophet ﷺ as to whom he should show more kindness. The Prophet ﷺ replied: “Your mother.” He (may Allah be pleased with him) asked who comes next and the Prophet ﷺ again replied: “Your mother.” He (may Allah be pleased with him) asked the Prophet ﷺ yet again who comes next. The Prophet ﷺ replied: “Your mother.” When the companion asked for the fourth time, only then did the Prophet ﷺ reply: “Your father.”

We have forgotten that what a great deed it is to be kind to our Parents

‘Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood (RA) said: “I asked the Prophet ﷺ which deed is most liked by Allah? He ﷺ said: ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked him: ‘Then what? He ﷺ said: ‘Kindness and respect towards parents.’…” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

That Paradise can be earned by serving ones Parent(s)

The Prophet  ﷺ  has observed : ”Let that man be disgraced, and disgraced again and let him be disgraced even more.” The people enquired: “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you) who is that man?” The Prophet of Allah  ﷺ  affirmed: “I refer to the man who finds his parents old in age – both of them or one of them – and yet did not earn entitlement to Paradise by rendering good service to them.” [Muslim]

Being good with the loved ones (relatives and friends) of one’s father

Allah’s Apostle  ﷺ said: The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of his father. (Sahih Muslim)

FORGOTTEN SUNAN WITH CHILDREN

Being Proud for being a Father of Daughters

The Prophet ﷺ has affirmed: “The man who patronizes three daughters or three sisters, educates them and teaches them good manners and behaves kindly towards them till they become independent of his care by the will of Allah , is entitled by Allah to enter Paradise.” Thereupon a person submitted: “If there be only two daughters or two sisters?’ The Prophet  ﷺ  affirmed: “The same reward will be given for similar conduct towards two daughters or two sisters”. (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190)*

Dua’as to protect oneself and one’s children from Evil eye, Black Magic/Jinn and Harm

Unfortunately, due to lack of knowledge people end up adopting non-islamic ways and methods to protect themselves from the above mentioned. Some indulge in amulets (Taweedh) whereas some indulge in amuleta (Taweedh), some end up lining up outsome some Baba’s shrine or etc. All of these practises has no basis in islam.

Ibn Abbas reported: The Prophet ﷺ, would seek refuge for Hasan and Hussein, saying, “Verily, your forefather would seek refuge for Ishmael and Isaac. I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from every devil and scourge and every harmful eye.” [Source: Sahih Bukhari 3191]

There are many Duas that can be found in the book Hisnul Muslim.

Other Miscellaneous 

• Praying for Children to be on the straight path
• Embracing them
• Being  just with them and treating all children equally

FORGOTTEN SUNAN WITH RELATIVES

Sunah of being kind and helpful to relatives

It is related by Anas that the Apostle of God said: “Whoever wants an increase in his sustenance and that the marks of his feet remained for a long time in the world, i.e., he lived long should be kind and helpful to his relatives.”  (Bukhari and Muslim)

Family quarrels, which generally arise from the disregard of the relatives’ rights, affect a persons health and causes friction in homes and in the community at large. Those who treat their relatives well and are helpful to them, are free from tensions and they are happier and more peaceful.

SubhaanAllah nowadays it is so common to see that there are relatives who do not meet each other for years and years severing the kinship ties.

When the Prophet  ﷺ has said, “Whoever violates the rights of kinship shall not go Heaven.”  (Bukhari and Muslim)

Being kind to the Relatives who are mean with him/her

It is related by Abdullah bin Omar that the Apostle of God said: “He does not fulfill the claim of Silah-i-Rahmi who shows kindness to relatives in return for the kindness shown to him (by them). The person who, really, fulfils the claim is he who treats his relatives well (and does this duty) even when they are mean and unjust to him (and infringe on his rights).”   (Bukhari)

A man asked: O Messenger of Allaah ﷺ, I have relatives with whom I maintain ties of relations, yet they cut-off from me. I treat them kindly, yet they treat me in an evil manner. And I am forbearing and patient with them, yet they behave rudely and ignorantly towards me. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “If the situation is as you say, then it is as if you are filling their mouths with sand. And Allaah will continue to aid and support you as long as you continue doing what you are doing.” (Sahih Muslim).

Charity to Poor Relatives

Messenger of Allah  ﷺ said: “Charity towards a poor person is charity, and towards a relation is both charity and maintaining the ties (of kinship)“.(Tirmidhi)

Relatives have the first right for our charities.

Waking Family for night prayer 

The Prophet  ﷺ said: “May Allaah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses he throws water in her face.” (Reported by Ahmad). 

The Prophet  ﷺ said: “Allaah will ask every shepherd (or responsible person) about his flock (those for whom he was responsible), whether he took care of it or neglected it, until He asks a man about his household.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 292). 

To enter a house by saying Assalamu ‘Alaykum or its Likes.

Allah says ” When you enter the houses, greet one another with a greeting from Allâh (i.e. say: As-Salâmu ‘Alaikum – peace be on you) blessed and good.” (al-Noor 24:61)

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar said, “When someone enters a house which is not lived in, he should say, ‘Peace be upon the righteous slaves of Allah. (Assalamu ‘Alyna wa ‘Ala ‘Ibaadillahis Saaliheen) [ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1055 , Hassan]