In these two weeks we’ll In Sha Allah learn how and why marriage is a form of worship. We’ll look at the institution of marriage with relevance to today’s world from an Islamic perspective. By the end of the course we hope to be a better spouse and fall deeper in love with our better halves In Sha Allah for ‘when Love is for the sake of Allah, it doesn’t die’.
MOST IMPORTANTLY…. To find love, mercy and security in one another
“Permitted for you, during the night of the fast, that you approach your wives. They are your garments, and you are their garments” [al-Baqarah; 187].
In this verse, each spouse is described as a ‘garment’ to the other. Ibn Jarir al-Tabari (d. 311) stated that this description most aptly described the act of intimacy between the spouses, for during that act, each spouse sheds his or her other garments and then wraps around the other, taking the place of clothes. Al-Qurtubi (d. 671) also comments on this metaphor, and adds that just as clothes protect their wearer from the external elements, similarly each spouse protects the other from external passions that would harm a marriage.
Combining between the various explanations of this beautiful metaphor found in the books of tafseer, we can derive many meanings from it:
Marriage is an essential part of being fully human, just like clothes are an essential part of being fully civilized.
One of Allah’s important laws is that things are created in pairs; and from these pairs, reproduction occurs. Allah (SWT ) says:
“We have created all things in pairs, that perhaps you may remember.” (al-Dhaariyaat 51 : 49)
This applies to human beings who are made of male – female pairs as well. Humankind started with our father, Adam, and our mother, Hawwa‟ (Eve). From that pair, Allaah (SWT) created all of the other people, as He (SWT) says:
“O people! Revere your Lord who has created you from a single soul, created from it its mate, and dispersed from both of them many men and women.” [an-Nisaa’ 4:1]
Allaah commands the believers to marry and help those under their charge to marry as well. He says:
“Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allaah will enrich them from His favors. Allaah is Bountiful and Knowing.” [al-Noor 24:32]
Also, Allah’s Messenger ﷺ commanded the young people to marry, and advised those of them who could not afford it to fast as a means of controlling their sexual desire. Ibn Mas’ood (R.A.) reported, “We were with the Prophet ﷺ while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said:
“Young men, those among you who can afford marriage should do so, for it helps lower the gaze and guard the private parts (from zina). And those who cannot afford it should fast, for fasting is a repression (of desire) for him.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Being ordained by Allaah the Most Wise and All – Knowing, marriage is sure to have many virtues and advantages. In what follows we list a number of them.
1. PRESERVATION OF FAITH AND RELIGION
Righteous spouses assist one another in preserving their Deen by offering help, support, and advice that enable them to obey Allaah and abstain from sinning.
Anas (R.A.) reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:
2. MARRIAGE, THE DOOR TO WEALTH!
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All‑Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All‑Knowing (about the state of the people) ” [al-Noor 24:32]
Through this aayah, the companions would encourage others to get maried.
1. You get someone to share your life with
Staying single is not as appealing as it looks. At some point in your life you may feel the need to be loved and taken care of. You would wish there was someone to share your sad and happy moments, someone to share your success and failure, someone to do things along with you, someone to accompany you on vacations, just someone who shares life with you! Marriage allows you to have this someone who will share your feelings and experiences.
2. Good Mental Health
People who are single feel more burdened by life’s hardships whereas married people have a partner to support and comfort them thus making them worry less about such obstacles in life and improve their emotional health. Married people are less distraught and less psychologically perturbed than single, divorced, cohabiting or widowed people. When people marry, their mental health improves in a steady and considerable manner.
3. Help beat Cancer
In a Norwegian study, divorced and never-married male cancer patients had 11 and 16 percent higher mortality rates, respectively, than married men.
4. Helps You Live Longer
A UCLA study found that people in generally excellent health were 88 percent more likely to die over the 8-year study period if they were single.
5. True Love
There is no bigger proof of true love than Love for the Sake of Allah and if a couple is married with the intention of completing their deen, Allah instill in their hearts Love for each other and tranquiity. Marriage ultimately signifies true and real love.
ADVICE TO THOSE WHO DO NOT WISH TO MARRY
If you say that you are afraid of being poor, and you do not have enough wealth to look after a family, I say to you: Try your best to earn a living and be content and think positively of Allaah, for He has promised on the lips of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that He will help the one who wants to be chaste and seeks that which is halaal (permissible) by getting married.
If you have something that you want to achieve – such as a certificate, a position, a project and so on – and you say that you want to achieve that first, then you will get married, we say to you: Why are you ignoring marriage for that reason?
Marriage has never been a barrier to achieving things, rather in most cases it is a support and a help. That is just the whisperings of the shaytaan, which he has instilled in the minds of many young men so that it has become prevalent in our culture and society, and you hear many of those who have delayed their own marriages or the marriages of their sons and daughters saying such things, and our society has become burdened with problems resulting from large numbers of single men and women, and the delay of marriage, but despite that we have not seen any achievement, development or progress, whereas the first generation of Muslims used to hasten to do good and they did not delay marriage, and their achievements were the greatest and most complete of achievements.
By getting married, you will be protecting yourself, lowering your gaze, and closing the door to one of the greatest means by which the shaytaan deceives people. You may not feel the seriousness of that now, but fitnah may come from places a person does not realize, so you should be keen to close the door before it is opened without you realizing it.
Marriage is a source of tranquillity and peace, and it is the best of the pleasures of this world. In it is that which Allaah has made a sign for His slaves, and He has mentioned it in His Book so that they may think and ponder the greatness of His might, may He be glorified and exalted. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect” [al-Room 30:21]
A strange phenomenon has recently developed among Muslims, without being confined to one country or nationality-the alarming number of unmarried Muslim men and women.
What is the effect of single unmarried men and women on the community? To find the answer to this question, all one has to do is look at the non-Muslim communities. Every day we are confronted by the perversion and sinful practices that the non-Muslims find acceptable in their societies. This occurs because of their unnatural decision to abstain from marriage.
May Allah bless us all who gathered to gain knowledge for His Sake with sabr, good character that is pleasing to our spouses and May Allah make our spouses a blessing for us, a way to Jannah and not a test that leads us astray.